When we marry the love of our lives, we do so because we don’t want anyone else. We also don’t want our mate to want anyone else either. Unfortunately, the lack of great sex can be a driving force behind why people cheat on thier spouse while being married.
Sometimes we may feel like why is sex a big deal anyway? Not all of us our great at it and not all of us want it as often as our partners. As it turns out, no matter how much we question it, sex is important because it’s natural. There’s no escaping the urge to do it.
To be better in bed you have to understand this one fact: Sex is all about the vibe.
The vibe never lies and women can feel it strongly. The vibe is created through a combination of what happens before sex and during sex. Some women may be great at ignoring the bad vibes but eventually, if the sex isn’t good, she’s going to want it from someone. Since lack of sex (or bad sex) may lead to infidelity and infidelity can lead to divorce, why not just avoid all of that and just get better in bed?
1. Stop being one-sided
Having sex is essentially the best natural game between two humans ever invented. Great sex is ultimately a game about who can please the other best. If two people play by these rules, then sex will be ten times more enjoyable than if sex was one-sided.
The biggest mistake we make when it comes to having sex is going into it solely for the purpose of experiencing pleasure for ourselves. Most guys, unfortunately don’t even go into sex with the goal of making a girl orgasm. Instead, they’re just look to get-off.
I know some guys who won’t even masturbate a girl under any condition. To them, the thought of fingering a girl is a waste of time. They just want to reach the moment of climax and be gone.
There’s also guys who say they don’t like going down on a girl’s pussy but of course don’t mind a girl going down on them. Now I suppose personal preference is ok if its within reason, but usually these kind of guys fall under the category of having “one-side sex”.
To have better sex, you have to play the game. Having one-sided sex is arguably another way of cheating. Be more selfless and you’ll get more credit in bed.
2. Build anticipation
Most women don’t mind talking about what they like and don’t like when it comes to sex. In fact, talking about sex before actually doing it can build anticipation and can convert into passionate sex. It’s like being a tease. Talking about sex, imagining sex and even laughing about sex all increases our urge to do it. The stronger the urge, the better the sex may be.
There’s a huge advantage you’ll have when talking to your partner about what she likes doing prior to going under the sheets. That is, you’ll have a much better idea about how to please her than you would if you were just going into it not exactly sure about what she likes.
For example, while talking to her, you may find out that she really likes it from behind. That’s your cue then to initiate that position during sex. If you instead find out that she doesn’t like it from behind, then not doing it will save you some embarrassment and an award moment that may just ruin the whole vibe. Ruining the vibe is the ultimate sin when it comes to being great in bed.
3. Intellect over beauty
Most of believe we’re relatively smart, but sometimes our insecurities overshadow that thought. That’s why when someone comes along and makes us genuinely feel good about ourselves, we’re instantly attracted to them at one level or another. Use this phenomenon to your advantage. Compliment her intellect rather than her beauty. Yes, you can compliment her smile, her dress and her lips but just don’t do it too much. In fact, I’d strongly suggest only offering one compliment towards her physical appearance on the night you’re expecting to get it on. There are just better ways to turn her on.
Complimenting her intellect, such as how she was clever enough to solve a certain problem she had or how you think she is impressive for what she studied in school, gives her a different kind of feeling. A feeling that she probably doesn’t feel often. If you make her feel confident, you’ll come off as confident as well. If she’s your wife, she may already know that you’re a pretty smart and confident guy, but a reminder of why she loves you to begin with, ignites those feelings she has when you first met her. That’s the kind of feeling you want to try to maintain during marriage and that’s how you’ll be better in the bedroom.